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Posts Tagged ‘sticking it where it don’t belong’

Threesome ends in stabbing

In Carnal Catastrophes on September 4, 2014 at 11:55 am

Machete ends menage a trois. From KHOU Houston.

A local man is behind bars after he allegedly stabbed his roommate with a kitchen knife for being too loud.

Kinky..

Kinky..

Antonio Flores, 42, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of burglary with intent to commit felony force.

According to his arrest warrant, on May 8, Flores kicked down the door to his roommate’s bedroom and complained he was being too loud. According to the San Antonio Police Department, the 36-year-old roommate was having sex with two women in bedroom at the time of the assault.

The alledged spoilsport

The alledged spoilsport

Investigators said Flores grabbed a knife and stabbed his roommate several times, including his head, back and arms. The victim was taken to University Hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Police said both women were able to identify Flores, by name, from a photo lineup the night the alleged assault took place.

Flores was arrested three months later and booked into the Bexar County jail

 

Malaysian man mangles member

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 27, 2014 at 12:03 pm

Yet another home made cock ring catastrophe. From the Inquirer.net

Firemen in the Malaysian city of Kota Baru showed they were up for the job when called upon to remove a steel ring stuck around a man’s penis.

Another way to strangle your cock

Another way to strangle your cock

Zaki Ismail, from the fire station here, said they received a call from the emergency room of the Raja Perempuan Zainab II Hospital at about 7:25 a.m. on Sunday.

Zaki said the ring, which was made out of stainless steel, looked like a vehicle spare part.

“We were concentrating on the job of removing the ring. The man was also unconscious at the time. We had to go back to the station to get the right tools to perform the procedure.

‘When asked how the ring got stuck over the man’s penis, he said he was unsure as he did not have details

Man dies after trying to sodomize donkey

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Saudi donkey shag ends in disaster. From Beiruting

A Saudi Sheikh has died attempting to sexually abuse a donkey.

yeah, baby.

yeah, baby.

The poor animal, which is primarily a victim in this case.

According to reports circulating on the net, Saudi police found the body of Sheikh abuser the day after the murder, and found that the victim-victimhood received a severe kick in the face and three kicks in his chest when he tried to sodomize the animal.

The man died of his injuries after long moments of suffering.

Police who found the donkey and tied the victim’s car near the body also speculated that Sheikh had removed his pants and left in his vehicle (4X4) before trying his misdeed .

 

Woman spends 10 years with sex toy inside her

In Carnal Catastrophes on July 30, 2014 at 9:40 am

Now that’s dedication to the pleasure principle. From Daily Record Scotland.

A woman spent 10 years walking around with a five-inch sex toy inside her without realising.

sex-toys-large1

The 38-year-old arrived at hospital complaining of severe weight loss, shaking and lethargy. She had also experienced mild incontinence for “a few weeks”.

Doctors were shocked to discover a strange foreign body protruding into her bladder from inside her.

Surgeons at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary who operated on the woman discovered the item was a five inch sex toy.

The woman revealed she had used the sex toy with her partner ten years ago. She said she had been drunk at the time and couldn’t remember if she removed it or not. The sex toy had caused her potentially life-threatening internal damage.

After removing the sex toy, doctors managed to repair the damage and the woman was later discharged

Olive oil cock expansion disaster

In Carnal Catastrophes on July 10, 2014 at 10:30 am

Thai man tries to increase his tackle size with the gloopy stuff and has it cut off. From Elite Daily.

Health officials in Thailand were forced to have a man remove his penis after the man injected it with olive oil in an attempt to increase its size.

Sex oil

The man injected his penis with olive oil after his friends told him it would make it bigger.

The practice, which can also involve bees wax, silicone or even paraffin, is common in Thailand, and one Bangkok hospital reports that 40 patients a month receive treatment for side effects.

The 50-year-old man was forced to remove his penis after he developed a severe infection after injecting his penis with olive oil over a number of years

 

Man gets penis stuck in pipe for two days

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 12, 2014 at 10:23 am

Shamefaced Chinese man mates with metal and has terrible excuse. From UK Daily Mirror.

A Chinese man was left red-faced after getting his penis stuck in a pipe for two days.

Temptress

Temptress

Lian Tien came up with possibly the world’s most bizarre excuse for the embarrassing blunder – he was painting in the nude and slipped.

The 61-year-old said his ‘private parts’ became stuck in a pipe sticking out used to take water from the building’s air conditioning unit.

But he thought nobody would believe his story – so he stayed there for two days until he developed a fever and called doctors, who suggested they call for backup from the fire brigade.

Doc Dewei Yuan said: “The member had swollen so much that there was nothing more we could do, and we had to ask for help.”

Firefighters in Quanzhou City took four hours to cut off the pipe around the patient’s genitals.

An embarrassed Tien said: “It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result.”

“I thought that no-one would believe me and I tried everything I could think of to get the damned thing off once it had got stuck.

“I cut it from the wall and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down.

“I went to sleep thinking that if I relaxed it would slide off. But it didn’t. It began to get red and inflamed. I was worried that I would get a terrible infection.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-penis-stuck-pipe-two-3676349#ixzz34Q2f9eLs
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Police wife swappers fight it out at party

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 9, 2014 at 1:31 pm

Cop swingfest turns violent. From USA Today.

Two Denver police officers are being investigated after a fight that allegedly occurred at an officer’s home during a swingers party.

 

chances anyone involved looked like this-zero

chances anyone involved looked like this-zero

The alleged incident took place May 19 at Officer Steven Sloan’s Aurora, Colo., home, where he and his wife were hosting a get together with Officer Jeremy Ownbey and his wife, according to sources.

An argument started and the two women allegedly started fighting. The officers also got into an altercation. Aurora police say Sloan pulled his gun during the incident.

The two officers been placed on desk duty while the investigation continues, according to the Denver Post, which cited a Denver police spokeswoman.

Formal charges have not been filed.

The Aurora Police Department said it is investigating the accusations that the two officers have a history of swinging, a practice where couples share partners.

Aurora police also said four officers who responded to the incident are now the subject of an internal affairs investigation for not conducting a DUI investigation on Ownbey.

“We should have investigated further” police spokesman Frank Fania said. “We made a poor decision.”

Ear phone wank accident

In Carnal Catastrophes on May 27, 2014 at 1:13 pm

Chinese man confuses aural and oral pleasure with disastrous consequences. From Malaysian Chronicle.

A 32-year-old man underwent surgery in Shenzhen after he’d inserted an earphone wire into his urethra and it got stuck inside his body.

Slut

Slut

‘The patient, surnamed Luo, showed up at the Shenzhen Shuguang Hospital seeking medical treatment for a urinary tract infection, but initially failed to tell doctors about the headphone cable that he’d inserted up in there himself as a “home remedy”.

Xu Chang, vice-head of the hospital, said that Luo had suffered from numerous urinary tract infections. Apparently, the man performed this makeshift procedure on himself several times after a friend recommended the idea to him. On the last occasion, however, something went terribly awry

Candy rocks explode in vagina

In Carnal Catastrophes on May 19, 2014 at 9:40 am

Couple take sweet risk and pay the price. From NY Daily News

A frisky California wife ended up in the ER after she put exploding candy into her genitals during sex.

Next week's orgy attendents

Next week’s orgy attendents

The unnamed woman, from Newport Beach, reportedly thought inserting the tingling Pop Rocks confectionery into her vagina would increase her pleasure.

But the sweet treat actually had the opposite effect, and she started suffering burning and itching sensations.

Emergency room physician David Meyers, who treated the woman, said he was stunned when the couple revealed they’d used rocks to heighten their love-making.

Initially confused, it was only after further conversation with the frustrated duo that it emerged they were talking about the popular sweets.

“She said, ‘The rocks are supposed to have added to our sexual pleasure and I made my husband use them,'”

Skipping rope ass sex turns nasty

In Carnal Catastrophes on April 21, 2014 at 7:57 am

Rope a dope gets toy stuck in anus.

A middle-aged man had a skipping rope removed from his urethra and bladder by doctors in Hubei province after he’d reportedly inserted it there for “sexual pleasure”.

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‘Invoking a mental image that will never be unseen, X-ray scans showed the skipping rope stuck in the narrowest part of the man’s penis with 10 centimeters hanging out. The urologist in Yichang city said the surgery was especially complicated as the rope, 1.1-meters long and 4.4-millimeters thick, had knotted.

‘The man in his 40s found it too hard to pull out after he’d inserted it and turned to doctors, who said that surgery was necessary to remove it. In the medical opinion of the Doctor (who was surnamed Dong), what the man did was “ridiculous”

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