whensexfightsback

Posts Tagged ‘ouch’

Threesome ends in stabbing

In Carnal Catastrophes on September 4, 2014 at 11:55 am

Machete ends menage a trois. From KHOU Houston.

A local man is behind bars after he allegedly stabbed his roommate with a kitchen knife for being too loud.

Kinky..

Kinky..

Antonio Flores, 42, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of burglary with intent to commit felony force.

According to his arrest warrant, on May 8, Flores kicked down the door to his roommate’s bedroom and complained he was being too loud. According to the San Antonio Police Department, the 36-year-old roommate was having sex with two women in bedroom at the time of the assault.

The alledged spoilsport

The alledged spoilsport

Investigators said Flores grabbed a knife and stabbed his roommate several times, including his head, back and arms. The victim was taken to University Hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Police said both women were able to identify Flores, by name, from a photo lineup the night the alleged assault took place.

Flores was arrested three months later and booked into the Bexar County jail

 

Advertisements

Man dies after trying to sodomize donkey

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Saudi donkey shag ends in disaster. From Beiruting

A Saudi Sheikh has died attempting to sexually abuse a donkey.

yeah, baby.

yeah, baby.

The poor animal, which is primarily a victim in this case.

According to reports circulating on the net, Saudi police found the body of Sheikh abuser the day after the murder, and found that the victim-victimhood received a severe kick in the face and three kicks in his chest when he tried to sodomize the animal.

The man died of his injuries after long moments of suffering.

Police who found the donkey and tied the victim’s car near the body also speculated that Sheikh had removed his pants and left in his vehicle (4X4) before trying his misdeed .

 

Woman spends 10 years with sex toy inside her

In Carnal Catastrophes on July 30, 2014 at 9:40 am

Now that’s dedication to the pleasure principle. From Daily Record Scotland.

A woman spent 10 years walking around with a five-inch sex toy inside her without realising.

sex-toys-large1

The 38-year-old arrived at hospital complaining of severe weight loss, shaking and lethargy. She had also experienced mild incontinence for “a few weeks”.

Doctors were shocked to discover a strange foreign body protruding into her bladder from inside her.

Surgeons at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary who operated on the woman discovered the item was a five inch sex toy.

The woman revealed she had used the sex toy with her partner ten years ago. She said she had been drunk at the time and couldn’t remember if she removed it or not. The sex toy had caused her potentially life-threatening internal damage.

After removing the sex toy, doctors managed to repair the damage and the woman was later discharged

Chinese car threesome climaxes in crash

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 19, 2014 at 11:01 am

Motor menage a trois ends with a bang.

A sexually adventurous trio met on a night out in Wenzhou, China, and after a bit of courting the two girls and a guy opted for a threesome in a parked car.

Nice trousers..pervert

Nice trousers..pervert

Some men don’t see the appeal of sleeping with two girls at once, as it simply doubles the chance of them pushing the wrong button – this proved all too true for Chung Yeh, the Ross Geller of the People’s Republic, when he accidentally kicked the handbrake off.

The car rolled down a hill and crashed into a tree while the threesome were in flagrante.

While the fool who caused the crash walked away without a scratch, the girls weren’t so lucky. One suffered internal bleeding and the other had to be cut free. They later discovered she’d broken both her legs.

A police spokesperson confirmed that ‘carnal knowledge’ had been occurring inside the vehicle.

‘The driver is being investigated for lewd acts in a public place,’ they added. ‘As the women will be when they are fit enough to answer charges.’

 

 

Fat Man Sex Disaster

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 18, 2014 at 10:57 am

Nearly kills partner in chubby nookie.

When virgin Gregg Casarona had sex for the first time he smashed his girlfriend’s head through a wall. From Daily Mirror.

Obese Gregg had been dating Jen Gerakaris for a month when they decided to sleep with each other.

Unfortunately as 31 stone Casarona became Casanova he failed to take into account the power behind his near quarter of a ton weight.

As the amorous 21-year-old and his eight stone girlfriend got intimate, her head went right through the wall behind them.

Gregg said: “My initial reaction was, ‘I killed her. This is my first time. And Jen is dead.’”

Fortunately she saw the funny side and as she freed her head quipped: “Why did you stop?”

She said: “I wanted to lighten the mood.”

He took her to hospital but the couple were embarrassed to reveal the true reason for Jen’s concussion.

Luckily, a scan found there was no brain damage and tactless Gregg joked she “didn’t have a brain to begin with” much to his girlfriend’s displeasure

 

 

Burglar in crotchless panties falls through sex store roof

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 10, 2014 at 12:46 pm

Adult store capers down in OZ. from ABC Australia.

A male thief wearing a dress and crotchless panties attacked a Brisbane sex shop woker during a bungled burglary.

Chances of anyone involved looking like this-zero

Chances of anyone involved looking like this-zero

Police say the 34-year-old man forced his way through the ceiling of the store in the northern suburb of Aspley in the early hours of Saturday morning.

The female manager of the store was alerted when the man set off an alarm.

When the owner confronted the man, who was wearing a wig, dress and crotchless pants, he allegedly threw a number of sex toys at the woman.

The thief climbed back through the ceiling and onto the roof where he was arrested by police.

The Murrumba Downs man has been charged with break and enter and possessing dangerous drugs.

Skipping rope ass sex turns nasty

In Carnal Catastrophes on April 21, 2014 at 7:57 am

Rope a dope gets toy stuck in anus.

A middle-aged man had a skipping rope removed from his urethra and bladder by doctors in Hubei province after he’d reportedly inserted it there for “sexual pleasure”.

1321059699943

‘Invoking a mental image that will never be unseen, X-ray scans showed the skipping rope stuck in the narrowest part of the man’s penis with 10 centimeters hanging out. The urologist in Yichang city said the surgery was especially complicated as the rope, 1.1-meters long and 4.4-millimeters thick, had knotted.

‘The man in his 40s found it too hard to pull out after he’d inserted it and turned to doctors, who said that surgery was necessary to remove it. In the medical opinion of the Doctor (who was surnamed Dong), what the man did was “ridiculous”

Cop shoots man after catching couple having sex in community pool

In Carnal Catastrophes on March 31, 2014 at 10:00 am

Sex paddle ends with bullets

Authorities say an off-duty deputy shot a man after a confrontation with a couple that was having sex in the pool of a Boca Raton housing complex, according to NBC affiliate WPTV.

Dolphin kissing

The deputy, who lives in Reflections of Boca del Mar at 5500 Pacific Blvd, said he found the couple engaging in sexual activity, WPTV reported. He told the couple that he is a deputy and asked them to leave the premises.

Although they left reluctantly, the couple returned a short time later and the man approached the deputy, who was sitting in a lounge chair, according to WPTV.

 

Zimbabwe man beaten in church after ‘supernatural’ sex

In Carnal Catastrophes on March 27, 2014 at 9:03 am

Metaphysical mating goes wrong. From myzimbabwe.com

There was drama at an apostolic church in Cowdry Park suburb in Bulawayo last Saturday when irate congregants reportedly ran amok and severely bashed a man they suspected of using mubobobo to have ‘supernatural sex’ or better known as ‘bluetooth sex’ with female congregants during church service.

what the church may need next Sunday.

Sexy Ghostbuster

The bruised man, who sources  identified as Tafara Mukoto, had to seek refuge from a neighbouring house to avoid further beatings.

Mubobobo is a type of magic where a man uses charms to perform a sexual act on an unsuspecting woman. Often, victims can feel themselves being violated, and even get to briefly enjoy the encounter, before coming out of the spell and regaining control.

Several cases of this African bluetooth sex technology have been reported in the past and it is hard for police and victims to prove the claims beyond reasonable doubt.

However, it is reported that after the busting of Mukoto’s sex shenanigans which work in a bluetooth-like manner, some female congregants expressed concern over the mubobobo issue allegedly revealing that prior to the incident and during the church service they were just feeling as if they were having sex with a man even though there won’t be any man next to them.

A member of the Nguva Yavatenderi Apostolic Church who identified himself as Madzibaba Antony, said some congregants suspected that Mutoko was up to no good when he was seen ‘facially expressing excitement’ as he was standing in the crowd.

“What happened is that one female congregant started complaining that she was just feeling as if she was having sex with a man. She looked confused and troubled and told some elderly women of her suspicions. ASs the matter was being discussed among the women, Mukoto, who was seen constantly tapping his foot suddenly bolted out from the crowd before we gave chase and managed to catch up with him. He was thoroughly beaten and had to seek refuge at a nearby house which is still under construction,” said the source.

The man reportedly claimed that he was innocent but church members were not convinced and they gave him a beating of his life.

South African woman bites off penis during blow job

In Carnal Catastrophes on March 25, 2014 at 5:02 pm

Cocksucker goes cannibal. From News 24.

A woman was arrested in Soweto on Monday after she allegedly bit off a portion of a man’s penis, Gauteng police said.

Broken Bagette

‘”She was arrested at the police station after she followed the complainant to the station,” said Constable Sibusiso Chauke.

‘The two met at a tavern in Meadowlands, Soweto on Saturday.

‘”The victim, aged 38, proposed to the suspect and she agreed. They also agreed to go to the victim’s place of residence to have sexual intercourse,” Chauke said.

‘On arrival at the house, the woman told the man to unzip his trousers so she can perform oral sex on him.

‘”He did so and she bit off a front portion of his private parts. He managed to push her [away]… He was taken to hospital and was released today [Monday],” said Chauke.

%d bloggers like this: