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Posts Tagged ‘ass accident’

Man dies after trying to sodomize donkey

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Saudi donkey shag ends in disaster. From Beiruting

A Saudi Sheikh has died attempting to sexually abuse a donkey.

yeah, baby.

yeah, baby.

The poor animal, which is primarily a victim in this case.

According to reports circulating on the net, Saudi police found the body of Sheikh abuser the day after the murder, and found that the victim-victimhood received a severe kick in the face and three kicks in his chest when he tried to sodomize the animal.

The man died of his injuries after long moments of suffering.

Police who found the donkey and tied the victim’s car near the body also speculated that Sheikh had removed his pants and left in his vehicle (4X4) before trying his misdeed .

 

Chinese car threesome climaxes in crash

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 19, 2014 at 11:01 am

Motor menage a trois ends with a bang.

A sexually adventurous trio met on a night out in Wenzhou, China, and after a bit of courting the two girls and a guy opted for a threesome in a parked car.

Nice trousers..pervert

Nice trousers..pervert

Some men don’t see the appeal of sleeping with two girls at once, as it simply doubles the chance of them pushing the wrong button – this proved all too true for Chung Yeh, the Ross Geller of the People’s Republic, when he accidentally kicked the handbrake off.

The car rolled down a hill and crashed into a tree while the threesome were in flagrante.

While the fool who caused the crash walked away without a scratch, the girls weren’t so lucky. One suffered internal bleeding and the other had to be cut free. They later discovered she’d broken both her legs.

A police spokesperson confirmed that ‘carnal knowledge’ had been occurring inside the vehicle.

‘The driver is being investigated for lewd acts in a public place,’ they added. ‘As the women will be when they are fit enough to answer charges.’

 

 

Skipping rope ass sex turns nasty

In Carnal Catastrophes on April 21, 2014 at 7:57 am

Rope a dope gets toy stuck in anus.

A middle-aged man had a skipping rope removed from his urethra and bladder by doctors in Hubei province after he’d reportedly inserted it there for “sexual pleasure”.

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‘Invoking a mental image that will never be unseen, X-ray scans showed the skipping rope stuck in the narrowest part of the man’s penis with 10 centimeters hanging out. The urologist in Yichang city said the surgery was especially complicated as the rope, 1.1-meters long and 4.4-millimeters thick, had knotted.

‘The man in his 40s found it too hard to pull out after he’d inserted it and turned to doctors, who said that surgery was necessary to remove it. In the medical opinion of the Doctor (who was surnamed Dong), what the man did was “ridiculous”

Porn addict rushed to hospital after he puts live eel up bum

In Carnal Catastrophes on April 10, 2013 at 9:39 am

Bum fun turns rum. From The Sun.

The man – from southern China – preformed the bizarre act after seeing it done in a kinky blue movie.

eel inside man

But the unmarried man had to rush himself to a hospital casualty unit in Guangdong province telling medics: “Please, please help me. The eel is moving through my body.”

Surgeons finally removed the 20-inch long Asian swamp eel – which weighed more than half-a-kilo – in the early hours of the morning after a lengthy treatment with drugs and medical probes.

One of the medical team explained: “The eel was simply trying to find its way out.”

“It was still alive when we got it out but it died soon afterwards, which was probably a mercy.

“This was a particularly idiotic stunt and could have caused him a serious injury. Eels have small but very sharp teeth,” they added.

A police spokesman said: “We are aware of what happened and a 39-year-old man will be interviewed over alleged animal cruelty.”
Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4880024/porn-addict-rushed-to-hospital-after-he-put-live-eel-up-bum.html#ixzz2Q3BWMc50

Nurses fired for taking picture of patient and stuck ‘sex toy’

In Carnal Catastrophes on February 20, 2013 at 11:42 am

Butt experimentaion mishap ends up on Facebook. From WISN.

LAKE GENEVA, Wis. —Nurses accused of photographing a patient and posting the pictures on the Internet have been fired.

The investigation started with an anonymous call from an employee at Mercy Walworth Medical Center in Lake Geneva, with the allegation that a nurse took pictures of a patient with her cell phone and posted them on her Facebook page.
Not to be used as a sex toy

Not to be used as a sex toy

Last week, the nurse told 12 News she never posted the pictures on the Internet. Investigators have since interviewed the nurse and said she offered more details.

“There were two nurses that independently took a picture each of an X-ray of a patient,” Walworth County Undersheriff Kurt Picknell said.

The patient was admitted to the emergency room with an object lodged in his rectum. Police said the nurse explained she and a co-worker snapped photos when they learned it was a sex device. Police said discussion about the incident was posted on her Facebook page, but they haven’t found anyone who actually saw the pictures.

The nurse removed her Facebook page from the Internet last week. Without more, Picknell said this conduct does not appear to violate any state laws. He has referred the case to the FBI.

“We’ve notified federal authorities of this allegation to see if there are federal violations, most notably HIPAA violations, patient rights,” he said.

The hospital did not return a call seeking comment.

Italian Man Almost Dies After Sex Game With Wine Bottle Goes Wrong

In Carnal Catastrophes on February 4, 2013 at 12:16 pm

Spin the bottle game esacalates out of all control.

A man from Boscoreale, Italy, almost died after a wine bottle got stuck in his intestine following an extreme sex game.

9967162-message-in-a-bottle-stuck-in-beach-sand

The message reads ‘Please don’t stick me in your ass’

The 38-year-old endured a two hour operation in the Maresca di Torre del Greco hospital and will be forced to poop into a bag attached to the abdomen for the next six months after the doctors had to remove part of the intestine and reconstruct his anus.

What’s worse is that the 38-year married father of two risked severe sepsis. He was in excruciating pain by the time he got to the hospital. and seemed to think he would be able to pass it out naturally.

“He was ashamed to come to the hospital because he is married and has two children”, said Roberto Palomba, chief surgeon of Maresca Hospital.

Eel removed from man’s bottom

In Carnal Catastrophes on December 31, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Sex with Eels is the new thing down under both literally and figuratively. Happy New Year!

Talk about being saved at the eel-eventh hour.

A man in Auckland, New Zealand had a rather embarrassing emergency last week when he had to ask doctors to remove an eel from his bottom.

eels3

Would these three fit up a man’s ass?

An Auckland City Hospital spokesperson did not immediately respond to a request for comment from The Huffington Post. But Matt Rogers, spokesman for Auckland District Health Board, confirmed that a man was treated for the condition at ACH.

Eel sex

What happened next was a new low in human/eel relations

“In response to a direct query from the Herald on Sunday, we can confirm that an adult male presented at Auckland City Hospital this week with an eel inside him,” Rogers said. “No further comment will be made out of respect for the patient’s right to privacy.”

It’s unclear how the eel got inside the man, but the patient was treated successfully and released.

Thousands nursing secret sex injuries

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 25, 2012 at 9:56 am

Appar a third of the Brits have had some form of sex related injury. Tea scalded cocks, rainy vaginas? From Daily Telegraph.

A survey found that around a third of the adult population – about 18 million people – has suffered an ache or strain either during or after bouts of passion.

‘Yeah, I fell 40 feet out of her vagina’

Pulled muscles emerged as the most common complaint, followed by back injuries, carpet burns, cricked neck and bashing an elbow or knee.

As many as 40 per cent only realised they were injured the morning after because they were overcome with passion and did not notice it at the time.

Five per cent of people have had to take time off work because of sex related injuries.

Two per cent had even been left with broken bones while others suffered bruised shoulders, twisted knees, sprained ankles or wrists and bent back fingers.

Despite the upholstery, the sofa proved to be the riskiest place to have sex – mainly because of the number of wine glasses and plates left lying around during passionate nights in.

Unsurprisingly, stairs were the second most dangerous place for lovemaking ahead of the family car and the shower. Other hazardous locations included chairs, the kitchen table, the lavatory and office cupboards.

One in 10 people said they or their partner had fallen off the bed during sex and one in 50 said they had fallen off a washing machine during the act.

As well as the risk to life and limb, the survey also uncovered how sex can leave a trail of destruction around the home, with bed frames, wine glasses and picture frames among possessions most at risk.

Some more energetic people admitted accidentally smashing a hole in a wall or breaking chests of drawers or doors.

Almost four out of 10 people claimed to have broken something around the house during sex with the average cost of damage touching £154.

A spokesman for http://www.phonepiggybank.com, the mobile phone recycling firm, which commissioned the poll said: “‘Sex is a risky business these days.

“There are numerous hazards in and around the home which can inflict severe injuries if people aren’t careful.

“We were amazed to find out that even the bedroom can prove a hazardous location for certain people.

“Our advice would be to remove any dangerous objects well before you plan to start making love and take care while in the act.”

Most common injuries during sex:

1. Pulled muscle

2. Injured back

3. Carpet burns

4. Cricked neck

5. Bashing elbows / knees

6. Bruised shoulder

7. Twisted knee

8. Sprained / strained wrist

9. Sprained / strained ankle

10. Bending fingers back

Most dangerous locations:

1. Sofa

2. Stairs

3. Car

4. Shower

5. Bedroom

6. On a chair

7. Kitchen table

8. Garden

9. Lavatory

10. In a work cupboard

Most commonly broken items:

1. Bed frame

2. Wine / pint glass

3. Picture

4. Chair

5. Tea cup

6. Wall

7. Chest of drawers

8. Door

9. Window

10. Vase

Sex Toy Gets Stuck In Man’s Ass For 5 Days

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 19, 2012 at 8:47 am

A thrill a minute working week? From South Africa’s Health 24.

A Chinese man had to seek medical help to remove a sex toy lodged in his intestines for five days, according to a state media report Thursday that said such cases were on the rise amid loosening attitudes towards sex.

There’s a dildo/ass joke in this picture somewhere

Doctors at Shanghai’s Zhongshan Hospital removed the 23-centimetre (nine-inch) dildo from the 30-year-old man’s intestines using an endoscope, a hospital spokesperson and a government-backed newspaper said.

“If we did not remove the dildo in time, the man could have gone into critical condition,” said doctor Yao Liqing, quoted by the Shanghai Daily newspaper.

“Doctors were astonished to see such a big item taken out of the patient’s body,” he added.

He said the object had blocked the man’s large intestine and caused tissue damage, and doctors were contemplating surgery if the procedure had failed.

Shops selling sex toys and contraceptives are common in Chinese cities, as greater sexual freedom and a consumer culture take hold in the communist-ruled country.

Sex toys can hurt you

The Shanghai Daily said medical professionals were warning people to follow manufacturers’ instructions for using sex toys and not utilise them in “unintended” ways.

“People must use sex toys properly and avoid ones that are too big as they can hurt people,” Yao said.

“There have been three similar cases so far this year,” he added, although the report did not make clear whether Yao was referring only to cases at his hospital.

“In the previous two or three years, we only had one such case,” he said.

A hospital spokesperson confirmed the case to AFP, saying doctors performed the procedure on Saturday, but declined to comment further.

Naked man with usb mouse lodged in rectum arrested for burglary

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 22, 2012 at 10:09 am

At least it wasn’t a usb Gerbil.From WCSC news.

A burglary call for Oconee County sheriff’s deputies turned bizarre Monday morning when their suspect was found naked with a USB-powered computer peripheral in his rectum and apparently drugged, an incident report shows.

mouse pornography

Authorities responded to Bernwood Circle near the town of Seneca late Monday morning after a resident complained of a burglar. When deputies arrived, they found Noah Smith, 24, lying face down and naked inside the doorway of the victim’s home, the report stated.

When the deputy tried to make contact with Smith, he slapped the deputy. In return, the deputy deployed his taser, which had no effect on Smith, the report stated.

With reinforcements, deputies approached Smith again in the victim’s bedroom. A deputy managed to handcuff Smith before he jumped off the victim’s bed and tried to kick other deputies in the room, the report stated.

Then, according to the report, Smith was pepper sprayed. Undeterred, Smith continued to kick at the officers and otherwise evade capture. He was struck with a police baton several times, and Smith attempted to bite the deputy.

Smith’s head and mouth were covered with a blanket to prevent him from biting. He was wrestled down so shackles could be placed on his legs and his arms were hog-tied, the report stated. An EMS crew responded and provided a stretcher to which Smith was also tied.

Deputies and officers from the Seneca Police Department opined that Smith might have been high on mushrooms, and identified equipment that could be used to get high in the victim’s home.

During a medical exam at a nearby hospital, medical personnel found a USB cord hanging from Smith’s rectum. An X-ray revealed the culprit — a mouse — lodged inside Smith.

He told emergency room personnel that he could not remember what had happened to him.

After the medical exam, he was charged with resisting arrest, 1st and 3rd degree assault a battery charges, and indecent exposure. Smith was transported to the Oconee County Detention Center.

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