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Posts Tagged ‘animal crackers’

Man dies after trying to sodomize donkey

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Saudi donkey shag ends in disaster. From Beiruting

A Saudi Sheikh has died attempting to sexually abuse a donkey.

yeah, baby.

yeah, baby.

The poor animal, which is primarily a victim in this case.

According to reports circulating on the net, Saudi police found the body of Sheikh abuser the day after the murder, and found that the victim-victimhood received a severe kick in the face and three kicks in his chest when he tried to sodomize the animal.

The man died of his injuries after long moments of suffering.

Police who found the donkey and tied the victim’s car near the body also speculated that Sheikh had removed his pants and left in his vehicle (4X4) before trying his misdeed .

 

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Cow sex causes car crash

In Carnal Catastrophes on July 14, 2013 at 4:58 pm

Randy Russian livestock caught on dash cam crash

 

Goliath sexes chicken to death

In Carnal Catastrophes on May 16, 2013 at 10:20 am

Mighty fowl man pokes poultry into the afterlife in hendonistic search for pleasure. From The Zimbabwae Eye.

A Zambian man, Mr Goliath Nyirenda was caught sexually pleasuring himself on a chicken in Zambia’s Chisamba area, a court was told.

And all she really wanted was a ring on her finger

And all she really wanted was a ring on her finger

Mr Goliath Nyirenda, 27, was on Thursday convicted of having indulged himself in “carnal knowledge” of a chicken.

The man of Mubalani settlement in Chisamba is reported to have had sex with the chicken at approximately 2300hrs on November 18, 2012.

He was unemployed at the time, the court heard.

Mr Nyirenda however denied the allegation stating that on the night in question, he returned home after a night of heavily imbibing drink. He went to bed and was awoken by chicken owner, Gift Michelo. Nyirenda further alleged he was shocked when Michelo locked him in his own house then called his neighbours and the police for no reason.

However, when he took to the witness stand the chicken owner, Mr Michelo, testified that on the night at about 2300hrs he was awoken by a chicken squawking unnaturally. He then followed the noise to Mr Nyirenda’s house. When Mr Michelo entered the house Nyirenda  then threw the chicken out the window in blind panic.

 The arresting officer, Mr Chishi told the court that he made the decision to arrest Mr Nyirenda after he investigated the matter. Mr Chishi noticed that the chicken was soiled in its rear end. This testimony was also corroborated by Mr Michelo. The chicken subsequently died possibly due to trauma to the rear passage.

Mr Nyirenda now awaits sentencing by the High Court.

The maximum penalty for the crime of bestiality in Zambia is 15years

Man dies while trying to have sex with hornet’s nest

In Carnal Catastrophes on May 14, 2013 at 2:45 pm

Horny for hornets horror. From Sweden News so a bit of a lumpy google translation.

Around noon on Monday, SOS an alarm that “Hasse” a man the age of 35, lay unconscious on his farm outside Ystad. An hour later he would be dead.

This man favors oral sex with bees

This man prefers oral sex with bees

“Hasse” which was known in Ystad tavern circles, had a total of 146 wasp sting on the body including 54 on the genitals, including the scrotum. He was so bloated that a neighbor thought it was a whale carcasses lying on the lawn.

– What’s that? Yeah right ..! Thought at first that it was a kind of choice, so I called “Hasse” to ask what the hell he was doing, but he did not so I was a little worried. I walked up to the body and then I recognized his tattoo on his neck, representing a little angel who is rocking. I have never in my life seen such a swollen pelvic bone. It hid the whole package on him, yes it hung over and, despite the scrotum was enlarged. Right now it feels heavy and unreal. We did not talk very often, but he was still my neighbor, says Bertil Ståhfrääs before limping off and blows his nose in an old handkerchief.

After the autopsy of the body as well as technical investigation at the scene, so the police have come to the shocking conclusion that the “Hasse” tried engage intercourse with wasp nest. They found among other remnants of semen on some of the dead wasps. They even found a couple of “Hasse” pubic hair in the entrance of the nest and fingerprints of both hands.

– Attempting to have intercourse with a hornet’s nest is a very bad idea. “Hasse” must have had some form of sexual addiction that has escalated and pushed to the limit. What it is because perhaps you may find out later after talking to relatives and friends. I do not even think about the pain he must have suffered both within himself before he went on wasp nest, and the pain incurred by the wasp attack, says Siv During Livh, psychologist and expert on odd fantasies.

Read more here http://nyheternasverige.se/forsokte-ha-sex-med-getingbo-avled/

Porn addict rushed to hospital after he puts live eel up bum

In Carnal Catastrophes on April 10, 2013 at 9:39 am

Bum fun turns rum. From The Sun.

The man – from southern China – preformed the bizarre act after seeing it done in a kinky blue movie.

eel inside man

But the unmarried man had to rush himself to a hospital casualty unit in Guangdong province telling medics: “Please, please help me. The eel is moving through my body.”

Surgeons finally removed the 20-inch long Asian swamp eel – which weighed more than half-a-kilo – in the early hours of the morning after a lengthy treatment with drugs and medical probes.

One of the medical team explained: “The eel was simply trying to find its way out.”

“It was still alive when we got it out but it died soon afterwards, which was probably a mercy.

“This was a particularly idiotic stunt and could have caused him a serious injury. Eels have small but very sharp teeth,” they added.

A police spokesman said: “We are aware of what happened and a 39-year-old man will be interviewed over alleged animal cruelty.”
Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4880024/porn-addict-rushed-to-hospital-after-he-put-live-eel-up-bum.html#ixzz2Q3BWMc50

Eel removed from man’s bottom

In Carnal Catastrophes on December 31, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Sex with Eels is the new thing down under both literally and figuratively. Happy New Year!

Talk about being saved at the eel-eventh hour.

A man in Auckland, New Zealand had a rather embarrassing emergency last week when he had to ask doctors to remove an eel from his bottom.

eels3

Would these three fit up a man’s ass?

An Auckland City Hospital spokesperson did not immediately respond to a request for comment from The Huffington Post. But Matt Rogers, spokesman for Auckland District Health Board, confirmed that a man was treated for the condition at ACH.

Eel sex

What happened next was a new low in human/eel relations

“In response to a direct query from the Herald on Sunday, we can confirm that an adult male presented at Auckland City Hospital this week with an eel inside him,” Rogers said. “No further comment will be made out of respect for the patient’s right to privacy.”

It’s unclear how the eel got inside the man, but the patient was treated successfully and released.

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