whensexfightsback

Archive for 2014|Yearly archive page

Threesome ends in stabbing

In Carnal Catastrophes on September 4, 2014 at 11:55 am

Machete ends menage a trois. From KHOU Houston.

A local man is behind bars after he allegedly stabbed his roommate with a kitchen knife for being too loud.

Kinky..

Kinky..

Antonio Flores, 42, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of burglary with intent to commit felony force.

According to his arrest warrant, on May 8, Flores kicked down the door to his roommate’s bedroom and complained he was being too loud. According to the San Antonio Police Department, the 36-year-old roommate was having sex with two women in bedroom at the time of the assault.

The alledged spoilsport

The alledged spoilsport

Investigators said Flores grabbed a knife and stabbed his roommate several times, including his head, back and arms. The victim was taken to University Hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Police said both women were able to identify Flores, by name, from a photo lineup the night the alleged assault took place.

Flores was arrested three months later and booked into the Bexar County jail

 

Malaysian man mangles member

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 27, 2014 at 12:03 pm

Yet another home made cock ring catastrophe. From the Inquirer.net

Firemen in the Malaysian city of Kota Baru showed they were up for the job when called upon to remove a steel ring stuck around a man’s penis.

Another way to strangle your cock

Another way to strangle your cock

Zaki Ismail, from the fire station here, said they received a call from the emergency room of the Raja Perempuan Zainab II Hospital at about 7:25 a.m. on Sunday.

Zaki said the ring, which was made out of stainless steel, looked like a vehicle spare part.

“We were concentrating on the job of removing the ring. The man was also unconscious at the time. We had to go back to the station to get the right tools to perform the procedure.

‘When asked how the ring got stuck over the man’s penis, he said he was unsure as he did not have details

Man dies after trying to sodomize donkey

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 14, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Saudi donkey shag ends in disaster. From Beiruting

A Saudi Sheikh has died attempting to sexually abuse a donkey.

yeah, baby.

yeah, baby.

The poor animal, which is primarily a victim in this case.

According to reports circulating on the net, Saudi police found the body of Sheikh abuser the day after the murder, and found that the victim-victimhood received a severe kick in the face and three kicks in his chest when he tried to sodomize the animal.

The man died of his injuries after long moments of suffering.

Police who found the donkey and tied the victim’s car near the body also speculated that Sheikh had removed his pants and left in his vehicle (4X4) before trying his misdeed .

 

Oregon wanker falls in river

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 11, 2014 at 12:03 pm

A quick pull in the park goes wrong. From Football365.com

A naked and drunk man was pulled out of a river by U.S. police after he masturbated in a park in broad daylight.

some other river wankers

some other river wankers

Ernest Michael Kirk, 31, needed to be rescued after falling into the Willamette River while pleasuring himself in Clackamette Park in Oregon City, the Portland Tribune reports.

Police received a phone call around 2 p.m. Saturday (local time) and when they arrived at the scene they caught Kirk in the act. The police officers tried to talk to him, but Kirk did not stop his behavior and lost consciousness before falling into the river

Woman spends 10 years with sex toy inside her

In Carnal Catastrophes on July 30, 2014 at 9:40 am

Now that’s dedication to the pleasure principle. From Daily Record Scotland.

A woman spent 10 years walking around with a five-inch sex toy inside her without realising.

sex-toys-large1

The 38-year-old arrived at hospital complaining of severe weight loss, shaking and lethargy. She had also experienced mild incontinence for “a few weeks”.

Doctors were shocked to discover a strange foreign body protruding into her bladder from inside her.

Surgeons at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary who operated on the woman discovered the item was a five inch sex toy.

The woman revealed she had used the sex toy with her partner ten years ago. She said she had been drunk at the time and couldn’t remember if she removed it or not. The sex toy had caused her potentially life-threatening internal damage.

After removing the sex toy, doctors managed to repair the damage and the woman was later discharged

Olive oil cock expansion disaster

In Carnal Catastrophes on July 10, 2014 at 10:30 am

Thai man tries to increase his tackle size with the gloopy stuff and has it cut off. From Elite Daily.

Health officials in Thailand were forced to have a man remove his penis after the man injected it with olive oil in an attempt to increase its size.

Sex oil

The man injected his penis with olive oil after his friends told him it would make it bigger.

The practice, which can also involve bees wax, silicone or even paraffin, is common in Thailand, and one Bangkok hospital reports that 40 patients a month receive treatment for side effects.

The 50-year-old man was forced to remove his penis after he developed a severe infection after injecting his penis with olive oil over a number of years

 

Wanker gets tazed

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 21, 2014 at 3:29 pm

Crystal Meth’d cock fiddler gets shocked. From Oregon Live.

A Beaverton man was arrested following a string of erratic outbursts that culminated in the suspect allegedly masturbating in a Salem roadhouse, officials said.

1316983526_electricCock1.1

It took a Taser and more than a dozen officers on Sunday to finally subdue Andrew Frey inside Iggy’s Bar & Grill on Portland Road Northeast, the Marion County Sheriff’s office said.

The 37-year-old man later told authorities he had used methamphetamine the day before and had no recollection of the alleged wild behavior, according to officials.

The brouhaha began around 1 p.m. when sheriff’s deputies started receiving reports of man acting bizarrely in the 9000 block of Brooklake Road Northeast, officials said.

The man, identified as Frey, had allegedly called a locksmith and later refused to pay the worker for his services, Marion County officials said.

After allegedly stiffing the locksmith, Frey wandered over to Brook’s Market and refused to leave, officials said. An employee at the market had to eventually escort the alleged suspect off of the property, who then made his way to Iggy’s Bar & Grill.

That’s when Frey’s behavior allegedly took a turn for the vulgar, Marion County officials said.

A bartender told authorities that Frey exposed his genitals and started masturbating at the bar, officials said. By the time a Marion County deputy arrived on scene, Frey had moved from the bar to the bathroom, but reportedly had not stopped pleasuring himself.

Frey allegedly resisted arrest, forcing the deputy to zap the suspect with a Taser multiple times, officials said. The Taser had no effect on Frey, who then allegedly starting fighting with the deputy, officials said.

At least 15 police officers from Salem, Keizer and Marion County rushed to the bar and were eventually able to take the suspect into custody, officials said.

Frey was later charged with public indecency, resisting arrest and theft.

Chinese car threesome climaxes in crash

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 19, 2014 at 11:01 am

Motor menage a trois ends with a bang.

A sexually adventurous trio met on a night out in Wenzhou, China, and after a bit of courting the two girls and a guy opted for a threesome in a parked car.

Nice trousers..pervert

Nice trousers..pervert

Some men don’t see the appeal of sleeping with two girls at once, as it simply doubles the chance of them pushing the wrong button – this proved all too true for Chung Yeh, the Ross Geller of the People’s Republic, when he accidentally kicked the handbrake off.

The car rolled down a hill and crashed into a tree while the threesome were in flagrante.

While the fool who caused the crash walked away without a scratch, the girls weren’t so lucky. One suffered internal bleeding and the other had to be cut free. They later discovered she’d broken both her legs.

A police spokesperson confirmed that ‘carnal knowledge’ had been occurring inside the vehicle.

‘The driver is being investigated for lewd acts in a public place,’ they added. ‘As the women will be when they are fit enough to answer charges.’

 

 

Fat Man Sex Disaster

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 18, 2014 at 10:57 am

Nearly kills partner in chubby nookie.

When virgin Gregg Casarona had sex for the first time he smashed his girlfriend’s head through a wall. From Daily Mirror.

Obese Gregg had been dating Jen Gerakaris for a month when they decided to sleep with each other.

Unfortunately as 31 stone Casarona became Casanova he failed to take into account the power behind his near quarter of a ton weight.

As the amorous 21-year-old and his eight stone girlfriend got intimate, her head went right through the wall behind them.

Gregg said: “My initial reaction was, ‘I killed her. This is my first time. And Jen is dead.’”

Fortunately she saw the funny side and as she freed her head quipped: “Why did you stop?”

She said: “I wanted to lighten the mood.”

He took her to hospital but the couple were embarrassed to reveal the true reason for Jen’s concussion.

Luckily, a scan found there was no brain damage and tactless Gregg joked she “didn’t have a brain to begin with” much to his girlfriend’s displeasure

 

 

Man gets penis stuck in pipe for two days

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 12, 2014 at 10:23 am

Shamefaced Chinese man mates with metal and has terrible excuse. From UK Daily Mirror.

A Chinese man was left red-faced after getting his penis stuck in a pipe for two days.

Temptress

Temptress

Lian Tien came up with possibly the world’s most bizarre excuse for the embarrassing blunder – he was painting in the nude and slipped.

The 61-year-old said his ‘private parts’ became stuck in a pipe sticking out used to take water from the building’s air conditioning unit.

But he thought nobody would believe his story – so he stayed there for two days until he developed a fever and called doctors, who suggested they call for backup from the fire brigade.

Doc Dewei Yuan said: “The member had swollen so much that there was nothing more we could do, and we had to ask for help.”

Firefighters in Quanzhou City took four hours to cut off the pipe around the patient’s genitals.

An embarrassed Tien said: “It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result.”

“I thought that no-one would believe me and I tried everything I could think of to get the damned thing off once it had got stuck.

“I cut it from the wall and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down.

“I went to sleep thinking that if I relaxed it would slide off. But it didn’t. It began to get red and inflamed. I was worried that I would get a terrible infection.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-penis-stuck-pipe-two-3676349#ixzz34Q2f9eLs
Follow us: @DailyMirror on Twitter | DailyMirror on Facebook

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-penis-stuck-pipe-two-3676349#ixzz34Pz0bZBq

%d bloggers like this: