whensexfightsback

Australian pensioner impales cock with fork

In Carnal Catastrophes on August 20, 2013 at 10:28 am

Kitchen utensil sex game goes wrong From UK’s Metro.

A 70 year old man has had a 4 inch fork removed from his penis after it became lodged there during a sexual act.

Fork in a penis

The unfortunate incident in Australia was described in a recent medical journal by three surgeons who operated on the man to remove the kitchen utensil.

They talked about how the pensioner had come to the hospital for help after getting the piece of cutlery stuck when using it to achieve sexual climax.

They eventually managed to retrieve the object after using a large amount of lubrication and forceps, while the man was given a general anaesthetic.

‘It is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative,’ they wrote in the International Journal of Surgery Case Reports.

‘Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to urologists.’

 

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  1. Um….really. Wow. That is, well amazing….

  2. Reblogged this on writingthebody and commented:
    This is, well, amazing if it is real. My goodness. What on earth was he doing? Actually I would rather imagine than know….so here is my list of 7 hypotheses – all of them entailing the idea that he was a masochist or a sub,…
    1. He was doing that urethra play people do (not me, well not yet)….and well he was very experienced, so his penile opening (is that the right word for it) was very, I mean VERY loose. So the fork just went in, ssshhhoooopppp by accident…and unlike my vibrator, which does not go into that tiny hole (it does fit nicely in the other one, as discussed before) he did not have the power to well, pee it back out again.
    2. Someone did this to him. They got him stoned…well, he is 70yo, so maybe he did not notice. And his domme got bored because he fell asleep, and she thought, “Right, loser, this is the last time you will invite me around here and then fall asleep. So by careful wiles known only to those Narcissistic darlings the dommes, she wiggled, and pushed, and slipped and tugged (you know, pulling the carry bag over a sleeepng bag, how they are never quite big enough) and finally got it in. And thought, “Ha!” And he woke up the next morning and, well could not pee it out, as for 1.
    3. By a process of careful suturing, if not outright surgery, the domme got it in, and left it there. Or he did that himself.
    4. He is actually not mainly a masochist, but is into medical play. So he put it in, prelude to the act, and then the main game was to get this very sexy picture of himself taken and have us all drooling over it. Which I kind of am, as Ali G would say, Respect!
    5. It is a fake. Yes, I know, that would be disappointing, a fake story, that someone did on photoshop.
    6. It is a fraud. He went into hospital with a sore knee, and came out with a fork inserted, well into his penis.
    7. Aliens of course. Why o why did I not think of this earlier? Of course, it was the aliens. Soon all women will be waking up with penises (I would rather like that actually), and all people thereafter will be waking up with forks in their penises. I do not think I would like that part as much.

    As the captions says, we are pretty creative with our sexuality. I wonder if the play involved spiking the penis with the fork. Or did it involve a knife and fork? Perhaps the rite is only half complete…..and then for the plate….

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