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Archive for June, 2013|Monthly archive page

25 bike cops catch pair having sex in park

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 27, 2013 at 9:47 pm

Not the best time for al fresco sex in the park when it’s police training day

A pack of 25 police officers who were participating in an Upper Darby bicycle school for cops were shocked when they rode up on a man and woman having sex on a bench near the baseball diamond at Naylor’s Run Park yesterday afternoon, said Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood.

sex outdoors

The gorgeous pair

“Imagine being arrested by 25 cops,” Chitwood said.”They were as shocked as the police were.”

Once a year, the Upper Darby Police Department conducts a bicycle training school for officers from other departments and this year the class of 25 included cops from Haverford, Narberth, Clifton Heights and various other departments.

Officers do classroom work the first day of the five-day school, which certifies the officers to operate a bicycle on police patrol, but the remaining four days are spent out on the streets of Upper Darby on their bicycles, Chitwood said.

“When you see 25 police officers biking through, it’s kind of impressive,” he said.

Around 4 p.m. yesterday, the bicycle cops were finishing up their daily ride in Naylor’s Run Park. They had passed by the kids on swings and the people on the tennis courts and then they rode up to the baseball diamond, where they were startled by a man and woman who were participating in a different kind of aerobic activity, Chitwood said.

“There they are, on the first base line. There’s a bench, she is bent over the bench and our friend is behind her with his pants down to his ankle,” Chitwood said, “banging away.”

Mind you, it was 92 degrees and 4 o’clock in the afternoon when the cops rolled up on this. Chitwood said there was no one else around before police startled the couple, but as they were arresting them, a teenager did walk by, receiving lessons in both anatomy and criminal justice.

Chitwood identified the couple as Jennifer Harvey, 41, of Clifton Heights, and Richard McBride, 37, of North Philadelphia. “They don’t have parks in Philadelphia?” Chitwood said. “They have parks. Stay over there.”

Chitwood said he didn’t know if the two were dating but he said police don’t suspect prostitution. “This was an interlude,” he said.

Harvey and McBride were both charged with open lewdness and disorderly conduct.

Burglar captured and used as sex slave by hairdresser

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 27, 2013 at 8:39 am

Male thief ends up real life cheesy porno

Russian burglar Victor Jasinski becasme the victim after being used as a sex slave over three days by beauty salon Olga Zajac when trying to rob her shop.

russian sex

Pixellated face condition led to uncontrollable lust

Jasinski, 32, had attempted to steal the day’s takings from a salon in Meshchovsk, Russia when he was confronted by black belt shop owner.

Zajac demonstrated her martial art skills beating the intruder senseless leaving him semi-conscious before tying him up naked with a hairdryer flex and cuffing him in a back room to a radiator.

The 28-year-old then fed her hostage Viagra and used him as a sex slave for three days – wanting to teach him a lesson.

The rather tired out robber was eventually released and went straight to hospital to receive treatment for his tired out and swollen testicles.

He later told police of his ordeal who arrested him and the salon owner.

When police arrived to question Olag Zajac she said: ‘What a b*****d. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left.’

Poison singer nearly dies after jerking off to porn

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 19, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Wanked himself into a coma while watching ‘Busty Cops 3’

“Busty Cops 3: To Protect and Serve” nearly killed Bret Michaels.

bret michaels porn injurt

Michaels..bashed the bishop a bit too hard

The Poison singer, vH1 reality star and pet accessories designer was hospitalized last April after he suffered a brain hemorrhage – and now we know what caused it.

Michaels talked to Conan O’Brien last week (we’re not quite sure how we missed this then) about the compromising position he was in when the ambulance came to his house.

Michaels said that he was casually watching Major League Baseball and started channel surfing during a commercial break, as one does, when he happened to “accidentally” land on “Busty Cops 3: To Protect and Serve.”

And that’s what did him in.

“That’s one of the last visions I had was this awful, awful soft core something or other,” Michaels said. “In between that and MLB something went awry…it was horrific.”

The moral of the story here, kids, is that pornography will kill you. Even the soft core kind

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2013/06/19/busty-cops-3-nearly-killed-bret-michaels-video/#ixzz2Wh6tXOQh

Man found hiding in cactus patch after sex car crash ejects lover from car

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 11, 2013 at 3:14 pm

Things get prickly after passion wagon accident. From The Alberquerque Journal. 

A 25-year-old man is facing multiple charges after police said he was drunkenly having sex with a woman while driving, crashed his car and then ran from police.

Spined..for your agony

Spined..for your agony

Luis Briones was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out Monday night, hiding in a cactus, after he crashed his Ford Explorer in the 2600 block of Pennsylvania NE on Monday night.

Briones’ female passenger was found naked outside the vehicle after being ejected. She had deep cuts to her face and head, but was in stable condition when she was sent to the hospital, police said.

Police said Briones was heading north on Pennsylvania when he ran a red light and struck a car heading westbound on Menaul NE.

“Mr. Briones was observed to be having sexual intercourse with the passenger and sped off… at a high rate of speed,” the Albuquerque police officer wrote in a criminal complaint. “Their activities presented a danger to others in the roadway as exhibited by the accident.”

Witnesses told police Briones was clearly drunk when he got out of his car, and officers found a partially full bottle of vodka in the vehicle.

When Briones tried to drive away from the scene, leaving his passenger behind, a witness grabbed his keys from the ignition.

new-mexico-driver-allegedly-drove-drunk-while-having-sex-crashed-hid-behind-cactus

Bad driver and lover

That’s when Briones tried to take cover in a cactus, where he later refused police demands and became hostile with paramedics and others, police said.

When Briones was in the police car, he refused to keep his pants on, police said.

Briones was booked into Metropolitan Detention Center early Tuesday morning on a no-bond hold. He’s facing charges including aggravated DWI, reckless driving and evading police.

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