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Archive for November, 2012|Monthly archive page

Girlfriend beats up boyfriend for coming too soon

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 29, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Premature ejaculation leads to facial devastation. From Huffington Post.

The cops came not a moment too soon.

Racquel Gonzalez, 24, has been arrested for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend, 30-year-old Esric Davis, when he had an orgasm and she did not, according to a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun.

This pic pinned above the bed might help in the future

The Manatee County, Fla. couple were having sex on Monday afternoon, Davis told deputies, and after he climaxed, Gonzalez got angry and started scratching and hitting him.

The police report states that Davis had scratches near his eye and nose. Davis also told investigators that Gonzalez has issues from her past and “goes off” on him frequently.

Gonzalez, who the report states was uncooperative and belligerent during her arrest, was charged with felony domestic battery.

This isn’t the first time sex has led to violence in the great state of Florida. In September, a woman was arrested near Port Charlotte after pulling a gun on a man while they were having sex in a moving car.

Earlier that same month, a couple in Zephyrhills wound up in the slammer after their menage a trois gone wrong ended in gunfire, police Tasing, and a SWAT team surrounding the house.

Woman tries to smother boyfriend with 38DD breasts

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 26, 2012 at 10:42 am

‘Spose there are a lot worse ways to go than titsphyxiation. From Daily Mail.

A buxom woman has been accused of trying to kill her lawyer boyfriend… with her 38DD breasts.

Franziska, 33 from Germany, who weighs nine stone is accused of ‘attempted manslaughter with a weapon’ after her 13-stone boyfriend claimed she tried to smother him with her breasts and pretend it was a sex game.

something else that’s been smothered

She denies the claim saying it was a sex game and he knew what it was all about.

Tim Schmidt told the German court that although they had had a difficult relationship, until then everything in the bedroom had been normal.

‘The incident happened in May – we were having sex,’ he said.

‘She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts. Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed between her breasts with all of her force.

‘I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.’

He said that with his last reserves of strength he had managed to extricate himself from the woman’s vice-like grip and fled naked to a neighbour and demanded he called the police.

Mr Schmidt said when they met four years ago, the couple had been completely in love.

He said: ‘Everything was great between us – and I would have done everything for her. But it started to go wrong when I got my first job as a lawyer and we moved to Unna.

‘She could not hold down a job and just had one part-time job after the other. And the better my career went – the worst it seemed to be for her.’

He said Franziska tried to kill him after learning he was planning to leave her.

‘It is clear she wanted to kill me,’ he said. ‘She even admitted it to me on the telephone. I asked her why she wanted to smother me to death with her breasts and she told me: “Treasure – I wanted your death to be as pleasurable as possible.”

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2236797/German-lawyer-claims-38DD-girlfriend-tried-smother-death-breasts.html#ixzz2DK7iRYTy
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Why Thai women cut off their husband’s penises

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 20, 2012 at 8:49 pm

The answer to the question on everybody’s lips. From UK’s Guardian.

About once per decade, the medical profession takes a careful look back at Thailand’s plethora of penile amputations.

may have visited Thailand once

The first great reckoning appeared in a 1983 issue of the American Journal of Surgery. Surgical Management of an Epidemic of Penile Amputations in Siam, by Kasian Bhanganada and four fellow physicians at Siriraj Hospital in Bangkok, introduces the subject: “It became fashionable in the decade after 1970 for the humiliated Thai wife to wait until her [philandering] husband fell asleep so that she could quickly sever his penis with a kitchen knife. A traditional Thai home is elevated on pilings and the windows are open to allow for ventilation. The area under the house is the home of the family pigs, chickens, and ducks. Thus, it is quite usual that an amputated penis is tossed out of an open window, where it may be captured by a duck.”

The report explains, for readers in other countries: “The Thai saying, ‘I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat,’ is therefore a common joke and immediately understood at all levels of society”.

The bulk of the paper reports how the doctors and their colleagues learned, over the course of attempting 18 reimplantations, how to improve the necessary surgical techniques. Unambiguous photographs supplement the text.

“Interestingly”, the physicians remark at the very end, “none of our patients filed a criminal complaint against their attackers.”

An article called Factors Associated with Penile Amputation in Thailand, published in 1998 in the journal NursingConnections, explores the reasons behind that. Gregory Bechtel and Cecilia Tiller, from the Medical College of Georgia (in Atlanta), gathered data from three couples who had been part of the epidemic. The couples, by then divorced, discussed their experience calmly. Bechtel and Tiller report that in each case, three things had happened during the week prior to dismemberment: (1) a financial crisis; (2) “ingestion of drugs or alcohol by the husband immediately prior to the event; and (3) public humiliation of the wife owing to the presence of a second ‘wife’ or concubine”.

In 2008, the Journal of Urology carried a retrospective by Drs Genoa Ferguson and Steven Brandes of the Washington University in St Louis, called The Epidemic of Penile Amputation in Thailand in the 1970s. Ferguson and Brandes conclude that: “Women publicly encouraging and inciting other scorned women to commit this act worsened the epidemic. The vast majority of worldwide reports of penile replantation, to this day, are a result of what became a trendy form of retribution in a country in which fidelity is a strongly appreciated value.”

Man enlarges penis with olive oil injection, gets cancer

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 14, 2012 at 8:41 am

‘Swelled to size of coconut’ From Bangkok Post

Doctors have warned people to avoid using the services of illegal clinics after a man was admitted to hospital with a possibly fatal genital infection, a consequence of a penis enlargement procedure.

“It’s difficult to find pants that fit”

A 50-year-old man whose name was withheld was admitted to the police hospital for treatment because his genitalia  had swollen to the size of a coconut, a doctor said.

Pol Capt Dr Surat Kittisup-porn of the Police General Hospital said the man underwent a procedure to enlarge his penis at an illegal clinic about five years ago.

He was injected with olive oil, the doctor said.

The man’s genitals were working “just fine” until about six months ago. He suffered a cut to his penis and without proper treatment the wound became infected.

“He was ashamed to visit a doctor, but the pain and the infection grew so he had no choice,” the doctor told reporters.

He was admitted to a private hospital, where doctors found out that cancer has spread in the region. They suggested he move to a government hospital to save on the cost of treatment.

Doctors had no choice but to remove his penis, but the cancer spread towards his abdomen and his testicles.

Doctors have been able to bypass his urethra to his anus, allowing him to control his urine, but they are not optimistic about his future.

“The cancer and the wound was so severe when they brought him in,” Dr Surat said “There is a good chance that the cancer will spread again in the future,” he added.

Man faces divorce after penis extension breaks during sex

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 13, 2012 at 9:31 pm

What a knob. From UK Metro.

A man is being divorced by his wife after his penis extension snapped off during sex.

‘my other penis extension looks like a cock’

Doctors in Voronezh, southern Russia, had fitted the special prosthetic when Grigory Toporov, 47, told them he didn’t measure up to his wife’s expectations in the bedroom.

But she was horrified when the extension broke off during a wild sex session.

“I told her I would get a new one but she wasn’t having any of it. She said she was fed up with my failures in bed and wants a divorce,” said Toporov.

Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/241571-man-faces-divorce-after-penis-extension-breaks-during-sex#ixzz2C8m1fjIc

Racoon bites off pervert’s penis

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Russian man makes big mistake messing with Rocky. From Austrian Times.

A raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s penis as he was trying to rape the animal.

No means no

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified animal.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off.

“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with,” said one friend.

Woman chops off ex partner’s penis to stop him impregnating other women

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 5, 2012 at 9:19 am

Crazy ex goes crazy. Remember that when you get talking to a ‘kooky’ girl in a bar.

A woman who chopped off her partner’s penis to stop him impregnating other women will serve less than four years in jail.

Heres some she prepared earlier

 

Jian Chen was this morning sentenced to a minimum of three years and nine months in jail after pleading guilty to the manslaughter of her ex partner Xian Peng at her North Ryde home in February 2011.

The court accepted the guilty plea to the lesser charge, and withdrew the murder charge, because Chen was suffering from an “abnormality of the mind” due to mental illness and the belief Peng was going to take their child to China.

Chen believed her husband was “a conman” who wanted to impregnate wealthy woman to get money off them, the court heard.

The Supreme Court was told today Chen “laced” Peng’s soup dinner with sleeping tablets and then castrated him when he woke several hours later.

He died in hospital the following night from his injuries.

Psychiatric reports tendered to the court say Chen now accepts the killing was wrong.

“But at the time he was a monster to me…his face was twisted,” she told a psychiatrist in an interview done before today’s sentencing.

Justice Monika Schmidt gave her a 25 per cent reduction for the guilty plea.

Allowing for the time she has already spent in jail, she will be eligible for parole in November 2014.

Chen dabbed at her eyes with a tissue throughout the one-hour sentencing and said “thank you Your Honour” when Justice Schmidt finished.

Teen Faces Prison After Sex Doll Prank Goes Wrong

In Carnal Catastrophes on November 2, 2012 at 11:23 am

Never fuck with a sex doll. From Fox News.

When 18-year-old Tyell Morton put a blow-up sex doll in a bathroom stall on the last day of school, he didn’t expect school officials to call a bomb squad or that he’d be facing up to eight years in prison and a possible felony record.

think i’d call in an air strike if I came face to face with this

The senior prank gone awry has raised questions of race, prosecutorial zeal and the post-Columbine mindset in a small Indiana town and around the country, The Indianapolis Star reported in its Tuesday editions.

Legal experts question the appropriateness of the charges against Morton, and law professor Jonathan Turley at George Washington University posed a wider question about Morton’s case on his legal blog.

“The question is what type of society we are creating when our children have to fear that a prank (could) lead them to jail for almost a decade. What type of citizens are we creating who fear the arbitrary use of criminal charges by their government?”

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