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Archive for October, 2012|Monthly archive page

Man Sticks Penis Through Fence…Dog Bites It

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 31, 2012 at 11:14 am

He won’t be doing that again in a hurry. Happy halloween!

ZAGREB (Reuters) – A drunken Croat flasher got more excitement than he bargained for when he pushed his penis through a woman’s fence and her dog bit it, local newspapers said on Friday.

The visibly drunk man was walking down the street and started swearing and shouting at the woman for no reason. He then shoved his penis through her fence, unaware her dog was on the other side, police said.

The bitten man himself reported the incident to the police.

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14 cars damaged during couple’s stripping game

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 29, 2012 at 3:10 pm

A little of game of showing cocks for rocks gets out of hand.

LAKEWOOD, Wash. — State troopers have arrested two people suspected of damaging at least 14 vehicles by throwing baseball-sized rocks onto them from a railroad trestle over Interstate 5 as a part of a stripping game.

heave ho

Washington State Patrol Trooper Guy Gill said 23-year-old Joshua N. Sizemore and 18-year-old Amanda L. Madison were tossing large rocks from the trestle near Bridgeport way about midnight.

Sizemore and Madison were tracked down by troopers on the ground with assistance from a State Patrol airplane which captured video of the couple throwing rocks. Investigators said Madison was in her underwear when police caught up with the couple.

Investigators said the couple was playing a stripping game, which the couple in court referred to as “Sex Me”, that involved removing an article of clothing depending on burned out headlights on passing cars, but it’s unclear exactly how the stripping game tied into tossing rocks off the trestle.

The hit vehicles included a State Patrol cruiser, Gill said. One person was injured when a rock crashed through the window and bruised his arm, but did not need to be hospitalized.

“I think we very possibly could have saved a life,” said Trooper Eric Hatteberg.

Both Madison and Sizemore were booked into the Pierce County Jail. In court Tuesday, they both pleaded not guilty to 14 counts of second degree assault.

Madison is being held on $50,000 bail while Sizemore is being held on $40,000 bail.

Thousands nursing secret sex injuries

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 25, 2012 at 9:56 am

Appar a third of the Brits have had some form of sex related injury. Tea scalded cocks, rainy vaginas? From Daily Telegraph.

A survey found that around a third of the adult population – about 18 million people – has suffered an ache or strain either during or after bouts of passion.

‘Yeah, I fell 40 feet out of her vagina’

Pulled muscles emerged as the most common complaint, followed by back injuries, carpet burns, cricked neck and bashing an elbow or knee.

As many as 40 per cent only realised they were injured the morning after because they were overcome with passion and did not notice it at the time.

Five per cent of people have had to take time off work because of sex related injuries.

Two per cent had even been left with broken bones while others suffered bruised shoulders, twisted knees, sprained ankles or wrists and bent back fingers.

Despite the upholstery, the sofa proved to be the riskiest place to have sex – mainly because of the number of wine glasses and plates left lying around during passionate nights in.

Unsurprisingly, stairs were the second most dangerous place for lovemaking ahead of the family car and the shower. Other hazardous locations included chairs, the kitchen table, the lavatory and office cupboards.

One in 10 people said they or their partner had fallen off the bed during sex and one in 50 said they had fallen off a washing machine during the act.

As well as the risk to life and limb, the survey also uncovered how sex can leave a trail of destruction around the home, with bed frames, wine glasses and picture frames among possessions most at risk.

Some more energetic people admitted accidentally smashing a hole in a wall or breaking chests of drawers or doors.

Almost four out of 10 people claimed to have broken something around the house during sex with the average cost of damage touching £154.

A spokesman for http://www.phonepiggybank.com, the mobile phone recycling firm, which commissioned the poll said: “‘Sex is a risky business these days.

“There are numerous hazards in and around the home which can inflict severe injuries if people aren’t careful.

“We were amazed to find out that even the bedroom can prove a hazardous location for certain people.

“Our advice would be to remove any dangerous objects well before you plan to start making love and take care while in the act.”

Most common injuries during sex:

1. Pulled muscle

2. Injured back

3. Carpet burns

4. Cricked neck

5. Bashing elbows / knees

6. Bruised shoulder

7. Twisted knee

8. Sprained / strained wrist

9. Sprained / strained ankle

10. Bending fingers back

Most dangerous locations:

1. Sofa

2. Stairs

3. Car

4. Shower

5. Bedroom

6. On a chair

7. Kitchen table

8. Garden

9. Lavatory

10. In a work cupboard

Most commonly broken items:

1. Bed frame

2. Wine / pint glass

3. Picture

4. Chair

5. Tea cup

6. Wall

7. Chest of drawers

8. Door

9. Window

10. Vase

Woman ‘Dies of Pleasure’ during sex

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 24, 2012 at 10:40 am

Sounds more like accidental poisoning from homemeade aphrodisiac. From Bulawayo 24.

A 23-YEAR-OLD woman from Mberengwa District died when she was having sex with her husband after the couple had allegedly taken a concoction to improve their sexual performance, police confirmed yesterday.

Megadeth? Oh sorry, pleasure death.

The woman has been identified as Janet Moyo of Mbongolo Village under Chief Mahlebadza. Acting police spokesperson for Midlands Province Assistant Inspector Emmanuel Mahoko said police officers who attended the incident, which occurred on Monday last week, took the concoction the woman was said to have taken before she engaged in sexual intercourse with her husband.

“We confirm a sudden death incident in which a Mberengwa woman is said to have died while in bed with her husband at around 4am on Monday last week. Police who attended the scene recovered the powdered concoction, which the woman was said to have used before getting into bed with her husband. Police are, however, still conducting investigations,” said Asst Insp Mahoko.

A witness told said Moyo died because of “too much sexual pleasure” after taking the unidentified traditional concoction to enhance her sexual pleasure.

He said the woman is said to have got the concoction from a local traditional healer after she complained that she was not enjoying sex with her husband, identified as Mr Takaedza Zhou.

“The woman had just been recently married to Mr Zhou but was complaining that she was not enjoying sex with her husband. She later consulted a local traditional healer (name supplied) who normally assists both men and women in the village in that regard and was given the concoction. It, however, backfired when she started producing strange sounds during sex with her husband and died in the process,” said a villager.

Mr Zhou confirmed that his wife died while they were engaged in sex but refused to shed more light on the matter.

“I don’t want to say much about the incident, the police took the concoction which my wife had taken and we are still waiting for the post-mortem to ascertain what caused her death. You can get in touch with the police,” said Mr Zhou, a teacher at a local school.

Asst Insp Mahoko said the woman’s body was taken to Masase Mission Hospital for a post-mortem.

Man dies during marathon sex with students

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 22, 2012 at 7:26 am

Looks like someone has been writing checks his penis couldn’t cash. From Indonesia Sun.

A middle-aged man (names withheld) has collapsed and died while having marathon sex with two female undergraduates in one of the hotels in the commercial city of Onitsha, Anambra State.

women up for another type of marathon

The deceased had checked into the hotel located at the back of the Central Police Station (CPS), Onitsha with the two women he met earlier and exchanged phone numbers in the day.

While having sex with the girls, he allegedly collapsed and died inside the hotel room.

The man had allegedly pleaded with the women to have sex with them without using condom, which did not go down well with the latter.

However, upon further persuasion and negotiation by the deceased to add more money, one of them agreed while the other refused and allegedly went into the bathroom to take a shower when she noticed that the deceased was already having sex with her partner without condom.

She was said to have pushed the man away from the girl before ejaculation after which the deceased started shouting and died a few minutes later.

One of the suspects being detained at the CPS, a pole away from the scene of the incident, is a student of Ogwashi Ukwu Polytechnic in Delta State, while the other is from Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, also in Anambra State.

According to an eyewitness, who did not want her name in print, the incident occurred in the late hours of Friday when she heard a man shouting on top of his voice inside the hotel room and after a while, he was confirmed dead.

“The man came into the hotel with two girls and checked into one of the rooms, but later I heard him shouting: My head, oh! My head, oh! After a while, I did not hear anything again until the police came in and evacuated the body, then arrested the two girls”, whom they believed may have served the man.

The source noted that the hotel management on noticing that the man was dead, quickly locked the room to prevent the two girls from escaping pending the arrival of the police.

Meanwhile, policemen from the CPS later arrested the suspects.

They took the body to an undisclosed mortuary also within the commercial city of Onitsha while investigations continue.

When contacted on his mobile phone, the manager of the hotel, simply identified as Simon, declined comments, but referred our reporter to the police, adding, “the police are already handling it.”

But the Police Public Relations Officer, (PPRO), Mr. Ralph Uzoigwe, confirmed the incident.

He said two suspects have been arrested, while, investigations were ongoing.

Sex Toy Gets Stuck In Man’s Ass For 5 Days

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 19, 2012 at 8:47 am

A thrill a minute working week? From South Africa’s Health 24.

A Chinese man had to seek medical help to remove a sex toy lodged in his intestines for five days, according to a state media report Thursday that said such cases were on the rise amid loosening attitudes towards sex.

There’s a dildo/ass joke in this picture somewhere

Doctors at Shanghai’s Zhongshan Hospital removed the 23-centimetre (nine-inch) dildo from the 30-year-old man’s intestines using an endoscope, a hospital spokesperson and a government-backed newspaper said.

“If we did not remove the dildo in time, the man could have gone into critical condition,” said doctor Yao Liqing, quoted by the Shanghai Daily newspaper.

“Doctors were astonished to see such a big item taken out of the patient’s body,” he added.

He said the object had blocked the man’s large intestine and caused tissue damage, and doctors were contemplating surgery if the procedure had failed.

Shops selling sex toys and contraceptives are common in Chinese cities, as greater sexual freedom and a consumer culture take hold in the communist-ruled country.

Sex toys can hurt you

The Shanghai Daily said medical professionals were warning people to follow manufacturers’ instructions for using sex toys and not utilise them in “unintended” ways.

“People must use sex toys properly and avoid ones that are too big as they can hurt people,” Yao said.

“There have been three similar cases so far this year,” he added, although the report did not make clear whether Yao was referring only to cases at his hospital.

“In the previous two or three years, we only had one such case,” he said.

A hospital spokesperson confirmed the case to AFP, saying doctors performed the procedure on Saturday, but declined to comment further.

Pensioner dies after swallowing dentures during sex session with prostitute

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 18, 2012 at 10:22 am

Dentures of doom cut short pensioner passion. From Daily Telegraph. 

A 74 year old man died when he swallowed his dentures during a sex session with prostitute.

Alright darling

The pensioner collapsed at the end of a 30-minute session with the 62-year-old hooker.

Paramedics rushed to the scene but the man, known as Chen, was pronounced dead by the time he arrived at hospital.

Medical staff later found his dentures stuck in his throat, following the incident in New Taipei City, Taiwan.

sex..not just for the young

The prostitute told authorities: “He fell back onto the bed. His eyes were open but he was not moving although I shook his body and tried to wake him up.”

Prostitution is illegal in Taiwan but only the women, and not their clients, are penalised and face a fine of up to £600 if caught.

However, in recent years there have been plans to decriminalise the world’s oldest profession but with strict rules.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/taiwan/9058851/Pensioner-dies-after-swallowing-dentures-during-sex-session-with-prostitute.html

Man injured, loses use of penis, while swinging with couple

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 17, 2012 at 11:19 am

Threesome leads to penis disaster. From that noted purveyor of filth, The Mississippi Litigation Review.

A long-time herbicide salesman and Madison resident, was a part of the so-called swinger lifestyle. Swingers as they are known engage in consensual group sex. [Plaintiff] developed a sexual relationship with a Vicksburg couple, family practice doctor… and his wife [a nurse].

need a stiffner love?

Plaintiff alleged that the three were “swinging” in 2006 when the nurse gave him a shot in his penis that caused an erection. For 4 days.

By the time the plaintiff sought treatment, his penis had suffered arterial damage and he was permanently impotent.

Plaintiff sued the swinging doctor and nurse for medical malpractice.

The Circuit Court of Warren County directed a verdict for the defendants on the grounds that plaintiff failed to produce a standard of care expert.

Judge James Chaney presided in the case. John Holaday of Flowood represented the plaintiff. Reeve Jacobus and Heber Simmons of Ridgeland represented the defendants.

http://www.mslitigationreview.com/2012/06/articles/verdicts/plaintiff-injured-while-swinging-with-another-couple-loses-lawsuit-/

Naked woman left dangling upside down from holiday balcony during sex

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

Pleasure turns to pain on sunshine isle. From AOL Travel.

A British woman nearly fell to her death from the balcony of her Tenerife holiday flat while having sex with her husband.

accident as recreated by giant pink furry rabbit

She was left hanging naked and upside down after tumbling over a handrail, having plummeted several feet from the balcony, in the Adeje area of the island.

The 49-year-old holidaymaker, who has not been named, was only saved from crashing to the marble floor below after her right ankle became trapped between two bars as she fell. Her husband contacted emergency services, who had to force apart the railings to free her. She was rushed to hospital with a broken ankle.

Speaking in the Daily Mail, a police spokesman said: “Her good luck was that getting her leg caught stopped her from falling. Her bad luck was that she broke her ankle, was naked and couldn’t get free.

“We warned her and her husband to think about safe sex in the future.”

“Had her leg not been trapped, the consequences could have been much more serious.”

Undertaker sues dominatrix after she refuses to untie him

In Carnal Catastrophes on October 13, 2012 at 11:34 am

50 Shades of Gray turns nasty after cocaine use. From UK Daily Mail.

An undertaker has sued a prostitute who specialises in dominatrix role-play  – saying he did not wish to be whipped or have hot wax dripped on to his body.

probably not this guy

The 49-year-old, who has not been named, told a Cologne district court that the prostitute – a mother-of-three – became aggressive after ingesting cocaine, and ended up keeping him tied on his bed beyond their agreed two-hour session.

She allegedly held a knife to his throat – while he was tied up – and demanded his PIN details.

However the prostitute denies his story – and because of the amount of cocaine in both people’s systems, the court said it was possible one or both of them were hallucinating details, making it difficult to ascertain the truth.

According to TheLocal.de, the undertaker said: I just wanted some erotic role-play, not to be dominated.

He claimed he was forced to swallow cocaine, and that the dominatrix stole €980 from his bank account.
However the dominatrix said her client asked her to stay after his first two hours, and also asked if she could find a transsexual to join in.

She said she took his card details to ensure she was paid and said: ‘My clients pay me to hurt them.’

She added: ‘I do this so often, I’ve had bad experiences.’

The alleged victim has to travell from a psychiatric institute to give his testimony, TheLocal reported, and he was accompanied by a psychiatrist.

The court ruled that both of them may have been hallucinating – and therefore it was impossible to know what really happened.

The court ordered the dominatrix to pay €200 to an aid organisation that helps victims of crime.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2215689/I-just-wanted-erotic-role-play-German-undertaker-sues-dominatrix-whipped-sex-session–refused-untie-him.html#ixzz29B3iPAn0
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