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Archive for June, 2012|Monthly archive page

Baptist minister in sex diving accident

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 29, 2012 at 7:47 am

Wet suits and the quest for orgasms-a deadly combination. From The Smoking Gun:

An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.

Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking).

is this how the minister arrived at his fateful destination?

While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge’s two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister’s rubber briefs.

Aldridge served as the church’s pastor for 16 years. Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to “please refrain from speculation” about what led to Aldridge’s demise, adding that, “we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/dead-reverends-rubber-fetish

Ohio woman jerks & drives

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 27, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Beats talking on a cell phone we guess

A Cincinnati woman was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy and watching a pornographic video while driving last week, according to cops who arrested her on assorted criminal charges.

Colondra Hamilton, 36, was pulled over last Tuesday evening in a traffic stop triggered when cops noticed she was driving a 2008 Pontiac with overly tinted windows.

a woman who likes to wank in her wagon

That’s when officers noticed that Hamilton’s pants were unbuttoned. And she had a vibrator in her lap. Questioned by cops, Hamilton admitted to engaging in auto erotic manipulation, and revealed that she had also been watching a porno movie that was playing on the laptop of a friend in the passenger seat, according to an Elmwood Place Police Department report.
Hamilton, pictured in the above mug shot, was booked into the Hamilton County jail on a misdemeanor count of driving with “impaired alertness.” Hamilton was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia since cops found a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse.

She was not, however, accused of using the pipe while she was driving and masturbating and watching an X-rated film, the title of which was not released.

read more http://wpgc.cbslocal.com/2010/08/26/i-couldnt-make-this-stuff-up-even-if-i-wanted-to/

Hickey causes blocked artery

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 27, 2012 at 9:05 am

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars — these song lyrics were all too true for one New Zealand woman. An overly enthusiastic hickey from her partner landed her in the hospital with a minor stroke.

The 44-year-old Maori woman was brought to Middlemore Hospital in Aukland, New Zealand with a paralyzed left arm, doctors reported in a case study published in the New Zealand Medical Journal in November. Doctors were puzzled by her symptoms until they realized that there had been a clot in an artery on the right side of her neck beneath where she still showed the bruising of a hickey.

there were a few fringe benefits to being the Andrex puppy

“Because it was a love bite, there would be a lot of suction. Because of the physical trauma, it had made a bit of bruising inside the vessel” causing a clot, Dr. Teddy Wu, who treated the patient, told the New Zealand press. The clot apparently resulted in a stroke.

read more @

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/love-hurts-hickey-leads-stroke-paralysis/story?id=12731131#.T-hYhb-CsgQ

Trucker arrested after wanking crash

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 26, 2012 at 9:22 am

Bashing the bishop led this truck driver into the loving arms of the law. From Sweden’s ‘The Local’

A German trucker suspected of driving under the influence of drugs crashed his vehicle near Borås in western Sweden on Tuesday. He subsequently admitted to masturbating at the time of the accident.

The trucker, apparently unable to reach a satisfactory climax, then proceeded to continue to pleasure himself while in the midst of a police interrogation, according to the local Borås Tidning newspaper.

Alll aboard the spank train

“He was masturbating while the police interrogated him,” police prosecutor Åsa Askenbäck told the newspaper.

“He has admitted that he was not paying full attention at the time of the accident. He was playing with himself instead of focusing on the road.”

The truck driver was en route from Gothenburg to Borås at around 4am on Tuesday morning. The truck and trailer flipped over when he rammed his vehicle into the central division on route 40 south of Borås.

The upturned vehicle blocked all traffic towards Gothenburg and one lane was closed in the direction of Borås.

The man remained in the vehicle with his hands apparently still clasped around his own gear stick and was subsequently arrested for reckless driving and driving while under the influence of drugs.

http://www.thelocal.se/22272/20090924/

UK Pensioner in choked cock shock

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 25, 2012 at 10:16 am
Things got a bit tight for one fella’s old fella in Manchester, England. From Manchester Evening News:
Fire crews were called to a hospital to cut off a sex aid after a pensioner had battled for 36 hours to remove it. Bemused surgeons asked for help when the 69-year-old turned up at North Manchester General Hospital and revealed his problem. Crews from Blackley station rushed to the ward and used a precision cutting tool to free the patient.

brings new meaning to the term ‘fire crotch’

It is understood that the pensioner was asked to sign a disclaimer before the delicate operation was carried out with medics on standby. The patient originally turned up at Fairfield Hospital, Bury, at 11pm before he was transferred to North Manchester. Plans were made to use a four-inch angle grinder to remove the ring-shaped object, but eventually an air cut-off tool was selected.
Cooling cream was applied to the area and the patient was asked to sign a form acknowledging he was aware of the dangers of the operation. The delicate procedure took place in the operating theatre and is understood to have taken more than an hour.

Cock snapping epidemic linked to infidelity

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 21, 2012 at 10:15 am

If you play away from home you could end up with a broken bat. From Huff Post.

Not only do affairs fracture relationships, they may also fracture penises, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Dr. Andrew Kramer, a urologist and assistant professor of surgery at the University of Maryland Medical Center, studied 16 cases of penile fracture between 2007 and 2011 that required surgery. Half the patients admitted to fracturing their penises during an extramarital affair.

I’m going to stick it to you good. oh.

According to the study, which was published last month, penile fracture occurs when the “tunica albuginea” — the fibrous membrane surrounding the tissue in the center of the penis — is torn during the bending or buckling of an erect penis. It can result in erectile dysfunction if not surgically repaired.

We talked to Dr. Kramer to learn more about his unusual findings. read more..

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/22/penile-fracture-study-lin_n_1026105.html

New Zealand woman’s hand cut off during sex with Brit on holiday yacht

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 20, 2012 at 10:28 am

from London Daily Mail

A British holidaymaker is being sought by police after a girl almost died when her hand was severed as they had sex on a bathroom sink.

Police in Hvar, Croatia, said the hand basin broke and a jagged edge sliced through flesh and bone leaving the girl’s left hand hanging on by a shred of skin.

a hand going about its business

The girl, identified only as Amy R, 28, from New Zealand, had her hand reattached during a six-hour operation by surgeons in Split.
Kraljevic Gudelj, police spokesman, said: ‘It appears they were engaged in a passionate act in the bathroom where at some stage the sink broke – leaving a jagged edge that severed the woman’s hand when she fell to the floor.
‘The woman almost died, and was only saved after she was airlifted to hospital where doctors managed to reattach the severed limb.
‘It had been left attached by a small amount of skin.
‘We believe it was probably an accident but the British man has fled and the New Zealand girl is understandably hard to speak to at the moment.
‘We want to track him down to find out his side of the story.’
The girl is thought to have been transferred to a second yacht, the Anete, to come ashore after she was injured.

Split hospital surgeon Zdravko Roje said: ‘All the nerves were cut through, but we are cautiously optimistic that we have not only saved the hand – but also that we have restored all the function including feeling and movement.’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2021587/New-Zealand-woman-loses-hand-Croatian-yacht-sex.html

Viagra orgy man collapses

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 19, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Talk about blue meanies. from ‘The Sun’ UK.

A sex mad Russian died after guzzling a bottle of Viagra pills to keep him going for a 12 hour orgy with two women pals.

The women had bet mechanic Sergey Tuganov £3,000 that he wouldn’t be able to satisfy them both non-stop for the half-day sex marathon.

no gingerbread people were harmed during this orgy

But minutes after winning the wager, the randy 28-year-old dropped dead with a heart attack, revealed Moscow police.
One of the women, named only as Alina, said: “We called emergency services but it was too late, there was nothing they could do.”

Woman sues government after being injured while having sex on work trip

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 18, 2012 at 9:54 pm

One aussie lady’s orgasm had her seeing lights-from the Daily Telegraph

A woman injured having sex in a motel room paid for by her employer deserved the same treatment as someone who slipped in the shower or been bashed. her lawyer has argued.

a light or ET’s spaceship?

Barrister Leo Grey told the Federal Court this morning that his case involing s a public servant’s fight for compensation after being injured during a night of passion,  “wasn’t about sex.”

The federal government employee, who cannot be identified, was injured when a glass light fitting came away from the wall above the bed as she was having sex with a man on November 26, 2007.

The light struck her in the face, leaving her with injuries to her nose, mouth and a tooth, as well as “a consequent psychiatric injury”, described as an adjustment disorder.

She claims entitlement to compensation because her injuries were caused “during the course of her employment”, as she had been sent to a country town to stay the night ahead of a meeting early the next day.
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/woman-sues-government-after-light-falls-injures-her-in-hotel-room-will-having-sex-on-work-trip/story-e6freuy9-1226102305894

Butt plug auto accident

In Carnal Catastrophes on June 18, 2012 at 10:22 am

Sometimes it’s better to leave the butt play at home as this Florida man found out to his cost

A driver with a “sexual anus plug in his rectum” was jailed after investigators say he rear-ended another driver and had more than five times the legal limit of alcohol in his blood, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

Maybe the driver should stick to these plugs in the  future

What could be called the case of the soused driver with the sex toy in his hindquarters happened about 11:20 a.m. Feb. 24 as Martin County Sheriff’s investigators went to a two-vehicle crash at U.S. 1 and Seabranch Boulevard in Hobe Sound.

A deputy determined Kevin Brann, 41, had rear-ended another vehicle. Officials also determined Brann smelled strongly of alcohol.

read more here http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat_will_greenlee_blog/2012/02/a-driver-with-a-sexual.html

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